Not Okay, and That’s Okay

The makeup is flawless. The meetings are on time. The kids are fed. The ‘I’m okay’ sounds convincing. And yet, behind the scenes, a silent battle is taking place — not with the world, but within.

“This is what mental health struggles often look like,” says Dr. Nik Nasyrah Nek Mohamad, Consultant Psychiatrist at KPJ Damansara Specialist Hospital.

They’re not always loud. They don’t always show up as tears or breakdowns. Sometimes, they wear lipstick and show up early. Sometimes, they laugh at lunch and cry on the drive home.

We don’t talk about it enough, but too many women are merely surviving, not thriving — and the cost is far greater than we realise. Struggle doesn’t always look like struggle. Many have become masters at concealing it. They wake up, go to work, care for others, smile for the world — and cry alone in the shower.

We need to listen — not only to loud, visible victories but to the quiet, unseen battles women fight every single day.

“Mental health isn't about being ‘crazy’. It’s about being human. And like any human, women are not immune to stress, grief, burnout, or emotional exhaustion. In fact, many carry the emotional weight of an entire village — while trying to look composed,” Dr. Nik explained.

The World Health Organization defines mental health as emotional, psychological, and social wellbeing — how we think, feel, cope, and connect. Increasingly, spirituality is recognised as a part of overall wellness. But even as awareness grows, stigma persists — especially for women.

“People still whisper words like depression, anxiety, or therapy like they’re something to be ashamed of. Too often, we hear, ‘You just need to pray more’ — but while faith can be part of healing, mental illness is not a punishment. You can be deeply spiritual and still struggle. It’s not either-or,” she said.

“When it comes to early signs, aware of these early signs: headaches, fatigue, muscle tension, and chest pain. Anxiety, for instance, can appear as stomach pain or migraines. It’s not just in your head — it’s real,” she further adds. 

And social media? It only amplifies the pressure. You scroll through feeds filled with perfect lives, perfect bodies, perfect families — and suddenly your normal, human life feels like a failure. But Instagram is not reality. And healing doesn’t look like a highlight reel.

There’s no one-size-fits-all approach to mental health care. Recovery may include therapy, medication, support groups, faith-based practices, or lifestyle changes. Sometimes, it begins with simply whispering: “I need help.”

“Seeking and getting help is the first step. It’s normal to feel unsure, but if you’re in doubt, talk to a healthcare professional you trust. A proper diagnosis from a psychiatrist is key,” Dr Nik shared.

Dr. Nik also dispels a common myth: that mental illness is a sign of weak faith.

“That idea can feel like judgment. Yes, spiritual practices can support healing — but mental illness is not a sign of spiritual failure. It’s a medical condition, just like diabetes or high blood pressure. Mental health issues don’t wait for adulthood. Children and teens are struggling too, and they need us to listen — without judgment.”

Prevention begins with awareness. Recognising early warning signs, setting boundaries, managing screen time, getting enough rest, and nurturing healthy relationships are all crucial. So is creating emotionally safe homes, schools, and workplaces — and ensuring mental health literacy starts young.

So, what can we do?

Start conversations. Challenge harmful stereotypes. Be patient and present. Offer empathy, not unsolicited advice. And most importantly — believe women when they say they’re struggling, even if they’re still smiling.

To the women out there: You are not broken. You might just be tired. And that’s okay. Hugs!

To schedule an appointment, contact KPJ Damansara Specialist Hospital at +603-7718 1000 or visit our website: https://kpjhealth.com.my/nik-nasyrah-nek-mohamad